Natasha with a pregnancy bump looking at her reflection in a mirror. Relating to this blog post about finding your purpose outside motherhood. — Photo credit: Kate Godfrey Photo

If you've ever felt like you're a robot doing the same thing everyday and you don't recognise who you are anymore, you aren't alone.

After I became a mum my old life was a distant memory.

I swapped spending time going out for dinner to eating my tea over my baby trying not to get him covered in crumbs while feeding or contact napping.

Going to yoga classes for long walks pushing a pram to a mum and baby class.

In those moments I knew that my purpose was to look after him, and it still is of course.

However, during the hours I spent nap trapped on the sofa I started reflecting on my sense of purpose outside of motherhood.

I have been working since I was around 13 (my first job was a paper round) and I've worked since then. I had never had an extended period of time when I wasn't working, other than annual leave from work and going on holiday.

Going on maternity leave was the first time I had been on a break from employed work. Although I was still working being a mum I felt a sense of shift within myself and had space to think about what my purpose was in life.

Becoming a Coach

The month before my due date I completed an Open University Microcredential in Mentoring and Coaching in Professional Learning. This was between washing what felt like hundreds of baby clothes, meal prepping food and snacks for postpartum life, and looking up what to pack in my hospital bag.

This was my first introduction to coaching in a ‘formal’ learning way. When studying and delivering coaching sessions, I realised that I had unknowingly been coaching people in my life for years. During the course, I knew that I wanted to continue coaching and studying other types of coaching. It felt like I had discovered my purpose and I started thinking about how this connected to my values in life.

During the early days of postpartum life I was like every mum running on no sleep and the days blurred together. I was in survival mode getting through the days with very little sleep. Looking back I don't know how I was still functioning.

At around 2½ months postpartum I started feeling like my mind was coming out of the blur and I started reflecting on different areas of my life and how life would look after my maternity leave ended. Plus at the time I didn't realise I had undiagnosed ADHD and that wanting to study during newborn nap times, and having an overactive mind, wasn't what a lot of mums would be doing.

Yet, I thought back to how much I enjoyed my coaching course and started looking at other coaching certifications that I could study.

What is Life Purpose?

That's when I discovered Life Purpose Coaching. Going through the course I started thinking about how I would be able to align with my values in life more and coach others to discover them and discover their strengths and talents.

Finding your purpose in life isn't only what career you want but feeling like you're fulfilled and following what brings you joy. It's a continuous life long journey with new opportunities and obstacles that will come your way.

Amongst navigating life with a baby, learning about my new sense of self, and discovering so many unknown things about sleep, milestones, and everything else that comes with motherhood, I didn't have much time to think about when or how I would use my knowledge from the course in real life.

It's during this period of my life that I further leaned into my mindfulness practices and studied a mindfulness coaching certification. I never thought that I would want to or have the energy to study with a young baby but I felt like I needed something to keep my mind occupied outside of motherhood duties. Plus I had never not worked or studied before so it felt strange not doing either of those things.

The Now

Fast forward to now.

I have been predominantly working with neurodiverse families to help manage stress the last year, as well as publishing mindfulness picture books and a mindful living book for parents/caregivers, which I will continue to do.

However, I feel like now is the right time to add a new branch to my business. After meeting many mums through my early years of being a mum, I’ve realised that many conversations I've had with them relate to feeling a sense of purpose outside of motherhood.

From the nostalgia from pre-motherhood, to the guilt of wanting to do something for yourself I've noticed a common theme.

Whether the mums I've connected with were through in person situations or online. If they went back to the same job after maternity leave, started a new job or their own business, or are stay at home mums, they all feel like a new person. And sometimes they don’t recognise themselves anymore. The hobbies and interests they had pre-motherhood have often disappeared from their life and they don't know what they would enjoy doing in their new life (outside of activities with their children/family).

Obviously I haven't spoken to every mum across the world but knowing and understanding personally the life changing experience motherhood brings I know that your sense of purpose changes too.